Wednesday, October 30, 2013

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYBODY!

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I know. I look ridiculous.

But my grandma bought me this devil costume so I have to wear it tomorrow.
Like I really need a crooked tail. I already have one!
Sigh.
The skullcap horns that go with this costume don't fit my big head either.

I have a big head because I'm so smart. Bet you didn't know that's why.

Anyway, I wanted to dress up as a Walking Dead zombie. I've even got the walk down.
But I don't have a pair of those creepy dentures.

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Saturday, October 26, 2013

Hmmm. What does Gracie have???

Looks to me like a gnarly Nylabone.

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I want that bone.

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First, I'll try the stare down...
Nothing.

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Next, intimidation...
Still nothing.

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Ooooh!! If I stare at the bone long enough, I can use my telekinesis powers like Carrie!

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Nothing.
Sigh.

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Maybe I should have put on my prom dress.

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Thursday, October 24, 2013

She's at it again!

I woke up from my slumber to find Mommy had rearranged the living room!

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WHY??!!!
What the heck is wrong with her?!
I don't like this new set up at all!

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I have a routine I follow every single day! It involves sitting on the back of the couch and staring out the side living room window.

I can see everything out the side window. Like Mommy mowing the lawn, Mommy raking the leaves, Daddy coming home from work and Mr. Paul the mail man bringing us mail. Not anymore!

Now all I can see are stupid cars and trucks going by. And what's with the dumb tic tac toe lines in these windows?!
I don't like change!

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Will someone please come over and help me put everything back the way it was?

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Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Bad Dog Treats ALERT!



The Food and Drug Administration on Tuesday issued an alert to consumers about the illnesses and deaths tied to jerky treats from China.

PLEASE check your cupboards and get rid of any treats you have that are made in China! They could kill us!

A few years back when they had a massive pet food recall, many of Mommy's internet friends lost their beloved pets due to poisonous dog and cat food that was made with bad ingredients from China.

If you really want to give us furbabies a special treat, why not make your own. It's really not hard at all. I bet if you googled "homemade dog treat recipes" you'd find a whole bunch to choose from! Best of all you know exactly what's in them. Or you could look for treats made in the good ol' U.S. of A.

We depend on you so please keep us safe. Dog food and dog treats made in China may be cheaper on your wallet, but the food could be deadly.

Say NO to products made in China.

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Tuesday, October 22, 2013

This morning Mommy thought it would be fun

to take me and Gracie for a drive into town to do some banking.

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When she pulled up to the drive thru to talk to the bank teller lady Gracie pulled her "batsh*t crazy" routine.
She was so wild, Mommy couldn't hear anything the bank teller lady was saying.

When Mommy finally drove away I heard her say something under her breath about rather having a root canal or needles in her eyes.

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Yeah, I'm batsh*t crazy. Deal with it.

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Sunday, October 20, 2013

"Good Day Sunshine."

I love the early morning sun on my face.

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You know... I never did like the Beatles.
You read that right. I do not like the Beatles.

I'll take the Monkees over the Beatles any day.

Why the heck would I want to live in a yellow submarine when I can spin around town in the awesome Monkeemobile?
Besides, everyone knows red is my color.

Yes, it's a pleasant valley Sunday.

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Wednesday, October 16, 2013

It's been raining ALL day

and Mommy has kept me a prisoner inside this house ALL day too!!

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I can't take it anymore!!!
I need fresh air!!
I gotta break outta here!!

QUICK!!! Somebody bake me a cake with a file in it!!

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So I can give myself a manicure while I'm waiting. My nails are a mess.

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Monday, October 14, 2013

Do you know the way to San Jose?

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I've been away so long, I may go wrong and lose my way.


Not really. I have no plans on leaving Central New York.
I just like that song.

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Monday, October 7, 2013

Wake me when "Too Cute" comes on...

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Oh and I'll be hungry. So be a dear and have a little something waiting for me to snack on.

Zzzzzzzzz...

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Saturday, October 5, 2013

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

She found my Nemesis!

I didn't think she would but she did!!

No, it's not Apple Bitter or Bitter Yuck.

It's the dreaded water spray bottle!

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Now whenever I try to have some "fun" like chew on the braided rugs, chew on the wood furniture, chew on the pillows or dig a hole to China through the couch cushion, Mommy shoots me in the butt with a stream of water!
She can get me clear across a room!
It happens so fast I spin around wondering where the heck it came from!

She's got good aim too. Must be all that target practice she does.

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D*mn that Second Amendment!

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