Saturday, February 2, 2013

Psssst. It's me Gracie.

Boston Terriers aren't the only dogs smart enough to hack into computers. So there.

I still can't figure out what the heck happened! One Saturday I was minding my own business, laying in front of the wood stove thinking about what I was going to have for lunch.

My human parents left for a bit and the next thing I knew they came home with the devil's spawn!! My life has been a living h*ll ever since!!

She's constantly razzing me! Nipping at me, jumping on me and barking in my face! As terrified as I am of her, I'm really trying to tolerate her. But I can only take so much! She's not nice to me at all. Yeah I know, I'm only 7 years old, I should still want to play. But I'm like a senior citizen in dog years. How would you like it if someone dropped off a 2 year old toddler and said, "Have fun! She's all yours!"

I keep hearing my human parents tell me they thought Stella would remind me of Darla and make me happy again. What the h*ll planet are these people on?! She is nothing like Darla! Darla was sweet, gentle and kind. Darla was my sister. She never wanted to jump on my face and bite me! Sigh. I'm exhausted.

I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I'm practically living upstairs now. The only time I feel safe, is when my dad comes home. He'll protect me from that evil on four legs.

You should see me... I sit there stiff as a board with my eyes bulging when I hear her run throughout the house trying to find me.
Now I know how Karen Black felt like in Trilogy of Terror.
Hmmm... Maybe I can throw her in the oven?
Nah. They'd know it was me.
But I am tempted to put her in a Priority Mail box and ship her off somewhere far, far away. Like Gilligan's Island. Let the Skipper deal with her.

I was hoping when I peed in her dog bed she'd take the hint. But she didn't. Instead she sleeps in my dog bed and continues to drink out of my water bowl.
Maybe I could chloroform her? Nah. They'd know it was me.

As you can see by my eyes in this photo, even though I'm allowing her to sit next to me, I'm channeling my inner "It."


Thanks for letting me vent.


Raymond Homestead said...

Lol, oh Stella and Gracie, you keep me in stitches!

Judi Hunziker said...

I have been laughing for ten minutes straight, my husband thought I lost it for sure when he saw tears in my eyes. Poor Gracie, I don't mean to laugh at you honest, hang in there little one, ♥
p.s. Coop said he didn't think it was funny at all if that makes you feel better.

Peri said...

Gracie Glad to hear from you. Stella is like a kitten...full of run and jump and biting. In dog years you are not a cat years I am not a kitten. But, the humans have decided the young one stays and since they bring the FOOD and light the fires to keep us warm in the cold times, they get some things they like. I did not want Hooky Cat in my house, but CatDaddy came and with CatDaddy came HookyCat. I like CatDaddy so I put up with Hooky. You could try putting Stella on eBay for only a short time and maybe someone who is desperate would buy her. Make it cheap enough and she will go quick! Don't tell anyone I suggested it. You can always vent to me..I understand completely.
Good luck,

Carol Roll said...

Oh Gracie my dear girl i feel for you but give Stella time to mature a bit and who knows you may end up best of friends!