I still can't figure out what the heck happened! One Saturday I was minding my own business, laying in front of the wood stove thinking about what I was going to have for lunch.
My human parents left for a bit and the next thing I knew they came home with the devil's spawn!! My life has been a living h*ll ever since!!
She's constantly razzing me! Nipping at me, jumping on me and barking in my face! As terrified as I am of her, I'm really trying to tolerate her. But I can only take so much! She's not nice to me at all. Yeah I know, I'm only 7 years old, I should still want to play. But I'm like a senior citizen in dog years. How would you like it if someone dropped off a 2 year old toddler and said, "Have fun! She's all yours!"
I keep hearing my human parents tell me they thought Stella would remind me of Darla and make me happy again. What the h*ll planet are these people on?! She is nothing like Darla! Darla was sweet, gentle and kind. Darla was my sister. She never wanted to jump on my face and bite me! Sigh. I'm exhausted.
I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I'm practically living upstairs now. The only time I feel safe, is when my dad comes home. He'll protect me from that evil on four legs.
You should see me... I sit there stiff as a board with my eyes bulging when I hear her run throughout the house trying to find me.
Now I know how Karen Black felt like in Trilogy of Terror.
Hmmm... Maybe I can throw her in the oven?
Nah. They'd know it was me.
But I am tempted to put her in a Priority Mail box and ship her off somewhere far, far away. Like Gilligan's Island. Let the Skipper deal with her.
I was hoping when I peed in her dog bed she'd take the hint. But she didn't. Instead she sleeps in my dog bed and continues to drink out of my water bowl.
Maybe I could chloroform her? Nah. They'd know it was me.
As you can see by my eyes in this photo, even though I'm allowing her to sit next to me, I'm channeling my inner "It."
Thanks for letting me vent.